Presley brought Gray a Message from Santa this morning!

A sleepy eyed Gray walked into the living room at 6:30 this morning to find Presley sitting on the kitchen counter by the computer and he delivered the following message to Gray from Santa:

Click to watch Gray's Message from Santa

Gray watched intently as Santa spoke and smiled then asking, "Did Presley bring one for Trey?" Not yet we said. One of us in the family is very soft hearted and cried as HE watched it with Gray....can you guess who?

The magic of Christmas is such a blessing!

Presley (not Elvis) is Back!

Presley is back at the Palmer home for the holidays! Who is Presley? Presley is our Elf on a Shelf who started coming to our home a couple of years ago. Each Thanksgiving he returns and makes nightly visits to the North Pole to report to Santa on the goods and bads of the day for our kids. Each night when he returns, he shows up in a different spot, usually in our home, but sometimes other places.

Yesterday morning was an adventure in our home as Gray searched the house over for Presley and couldn't find him. As we were leaving for school Gray declared, "He must be at my school or Trey's school because he is nowhere in the house." As we went to get into the car, Gray erupted into pure giggles because hanging from the sunroof in the car was none other than Presley. You see, Gray had a very difficult time having a happy heart with me and his dad while driving to school the day before. Gray was convinced Presley showed up because of his "unhappy" heart the day before.

I just love the pure innocence of Christmas in a child's heart. We should all have that innocent faith of not believing in Santa, but believing in a Savior who was born, died on a cross and rose again so that we may live and have the gift of eternal life. I've never understood why it is so easy for parents to convince their kids to believe in Santa yet struggle with teaching their kids the truths of the Bible. As adults, we all know the end result of believing in Santa but we don't have the same end result by believing in the birth, death and ressurection of Jesus. Jesus is not a myth or fantasy...He is real and each of us has the opportunity to have Him live within us.

Walk Peacefully with Me

This past week the Lord has grown me in so many different ways that I have found myself questioning him and asking, "God, what are you doing?" As I was sharing with a friend at work about a situation I was dealing with, she shared the following devotion with me which I hope will inspire each of you:

Walk peacefully with Me through this day. You are wondering how you will cope with all that is expected of you. You must traverse this day like any other: one step at a time. Instead of mentally rehearsing how you will do this or that, keep your mind on My Presence and on taking the next step. The more demanding your day, the more help you can expect from Me. This is a training opportunity, since I designed you for deep dpendence on your Shepherd-King. Challenging times wake you up and amplify your awareness of needing My Help. When you don't know what to do, wait while I open the way before you. Trust that I know what I'm doing, and be ready to follow My lead. I will give strength to you, and I will bless you with peace.

The Lord knew I needed this devotion. While I have found my ministry work this week to be challenging, the situations to which I was ministering were even a bigger challenge for those involved. I must not ask God why. Instead, I must ask him how and when if I am truly committed to serving Him as He calls me. I'm thankful he has considered me trustworthy enough to do His work this week, and I shall wait patiently for what is to come next. I desire to walk peacefully with Him and know disobedience would not bring the blessing of peace He desires for me.

Please, Don't Tell Me

Husbands and wives share everything.....and if you are married you know the word everything is all encompassing. We share our hearts with one another, our clothes, our bed, bathroom time, etc. I firmly believe a husband and wife should be best friends, and I am blessed beyond measure to know my husband is my best friend. We know each other better than anyone else and, after being together 20 years, we only have to look at one another to know if all is good or if something is wrong. I can't imagine not sharing everything with my husband but there are and continue to be times that I do ask him not to share everything with me.

I thank the Lord every day that He did not create me with a "need to know everything about everyone" personality. I have enough chaos in my own life to fulfill all the chaotic needs any one person could have. In fact, I'm the exact opposite and that has served me well in ministry. I can't tell you how many times people have privately talked with my husband and, assuming he has told me about their conversation, come up to me and start talking about it only to find out that I knew nothing of it. Or there are times when people will ask did you know about this or that with so and so. I'm always taken a little aback by this because it's gossip alley. Sometimes I do know what they are asking me about, however, gossip is not something I want to be a part of so I politely say no.

I was feeling torn about how I was handling these situations and decided there was only one way to resolve it. I went to my husband one day and said, "Honey, please don't tell me anything personal that people share with you". He asked me why, and I explained to him that if I didn't know about these situations or events then I wouldn't be lying when others asked me about something.

More importantly, God already knows the details of all our lives, and I am just as comfortable praying for unspoken requests as I am praying for known requests.

Blessings to you all!

Obedience and Faith

We have experienced many times in our life when faith was all we knew we had when we felt God calling or telling us something we needed to do. One of our biggest leaps of faith to date has been when God called Manley to the ministry. Manley gave up a full-time job to join what his co-workers termed "The God Squad". We take that reference as a compliment and are proud to be a part of God's Squad. We are now at another one of those points in our life where we feel God working and we hear him calling us. He's specific in this calling, relentlessly giving us confirmations we try to ignore sometimes because we are afraid. However, we are in prayer that we can be obedient and faithful.

God is calling us to simplify our lives. He is a big God and if you know us then you know this is a big calling. We have been termed the super couple and accused of being so active people aren't sure how we do it. Actually, we don't think of ourselves as being any busier than most of you are, and we know a lot of you are busier than we could ever fathom. The calling isn't going over well with our kids so we are still in prayer that God will bring them along with us. The calling to simplify has some significant impact on our lives and will create uncomfortable challenges for us. The great thing about it though is that we see God laying the way for us to be lights in a dark place and that is exciting.
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Please pray for us to follow God's will, pray for our children to have peace with the calling to simplify and pray for God to continue walking before us in this path we are to follow.

It feels good to be back blogging!

Divine Appointments

If we listen carefully when we are out in the public, we will more often than not hear the Holy Spirit speaking to us. If you are like me, you are always hesitant to respond because surely God would not use me to minister to someone, especially an absolute stranger. Believing God could surely not use us, then not allowing God to use us, has two effects. First, it robs us of a blessing and secondly, it deprives the other person of encountering God through us.

Since my husband is a pastor, it is very easy for me to "let him do all the work". He has a boldness like none I've ever seen when it comes to asking strangers if they have a personal relationship with God, and can easily provoke such conversations without intimidating the other person. It's one of the many things I love about him. He's both fearful and fearless. Why does this matter? Today, the Holy Spirit led me to boldly step out of my comfort zone and what a blessing it was.

My mom is an antique dealer. She has never been the type of dealer that went out "picking". Picking is when you go to people's homes and buy items in their homes to resale for a profit. Some pickers get leads on people wanting to sell items, and other people make cold calls at homes of interest. Today, she was invited into a home to see if she might have any interest in their antiques and asked me to ride along for her first picking experience. My oldest son Trey went with us as well.

When we arrived at the home we immediately wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. The home was a combination of two barns that had been moved to the property many years ago and were joined by a center part which was added. It was very rustic and while the home itself was unique, the junk around the yard was intimidating. We went in and knew at that moment we were in a picker's heaven. It only took about five minutes of looking to know we needed some help. I called my husband to bring his truck and trailer because we would be filling them up. Mom got a lot of great items but none of the stuff compared to the ministry opportunity God led us into.

The young lady selling the items was doing so because her mom was in hospice and her father was in a rest home. One was dying and the other was unable to care for himself. While we were waiting for my husband, the young lady began to share her parent's story with us. The more she talked the more her tears began to flood her face. We listened intently, empathetic to her situation, because four years ago we had stood in her shoes as my dad was lying in a hospice bed dying.

I felt God leading me to ask about her mom's salvation and she said her mother was a Christian. I then felt God pushing me more and telling me to ask her about her salvation. The entire time I felt God nudging I also felt Satan making me doubt myself and my abilities. I ignored Satan and listened to God and am glad I did.

She shared with me that she believed in Christ but that her faith was being tested by the trial of her mother and why God would allow her to suffer so much. She had cancer tumors on her spine that had actually broken her spine and she had not eaten in three weeks. I was able to share with her that it is always difficult to understand why God allows suffering of our loved ones but that we must have faith of the greater plan which we do not yet know. The most precious part of this moment was when I asked her if I could pray for her and she said yes. My mom, son, the young lady and myself all joined hands in the front yard amidst clutter, thunder in the background and the threat of rain. I prayed for this young lady and her situation, quoting scripture (if you know me then you know this was a total God thing because my memory is horrible) and asked God to give her a peace that only He could provide. I'm not sure which of the blessings I received today was the greatest. All I know is I am grateful and humbled by each of them.

Today was a divine appointment. It was not about picking or about antiques. It was about God sending us to minister to one of his hurting children, and trusting us to be obedient to his calling. I am so thankful God chose me to be his messenger today and that he sent me with my mom and son. Had he sent my husband with me, I would have never had the boldness because I would have once again, let him take the lead and do all the work.

I am the woman who walks by his side but must also walk with the Holy Spirit when your pastor is not by my side.

A "PK" Moment

We have a wonderful friend who has lovingly cared for our 8 year old son Gray every Thursday this summer. He looks forward to his time with her and her 9 year old son. He and Gray have become quite good buddies and look forward to their time together each week.

Yesterday Gray proclaimed to his friend that he knew what they were going to be when they grew up. This is where Gray reveals he is a PK. His friend is going to be a stripper and Gray is going to be his manager. His friend asked, "What is a stripper?" Gray told him a stripper was someone who took their clothes off and everyone gave them $20 bills, and they could make a lot of money that way. Gray then also shared that because his last name was Palmer, and Palmer's are famous people because everyone knows them, it would be best for him to be the manager.

Our wonderful friend upon hearing this story asked Gray how he knew what a stripper was. He is 8 years old...right? I have to keep reminding myself of this because I'm thinking he's closer to 20 right now. Anyway, he proceeded to tell her that his dad and mom told him about strippers. Gasp! Let me assure all of you right now that we have not talked to Gray about strippers, ever. Also, should he ever mention to you that he's been to Hooters with his dad, it's another conceived notion in his mind. He's never been there either with us or anyone else but it is a story he loves to tell about us.

Oh how Satan does love to have a hayday with PK's (and their parents). When my friend texted me at work to share this story my response back to her was, "I don't know if I should say I'm sorry or laugh". She's great, she said she was cracked up. I thank the Lord every day for friends like her who instead of freaking out over what her child learned from another (and she probably did freak a little), she just takes it in stride. She is one of those friends that loves on my children and does not judge them for their faults, and I am forever grateful for her and for God placing her in my life. Sending love to my friend....she knows who she is!

My Kids are "PK's"

My kids are "PK's". They have been since they were born. When my children were infants, they were "PK's" because their father was a policeman thus they were "policeman's kids". Our calling into ministry didn't change the fact my kids are still "PK's", just now they are "preacher's kids". To my children, it's like having two strikes against you. Why? I'm glad you asked!

PK's of any type, whether it be a policeman's kid or a preacher's kid, are held to higher standards than other children. It's not an opinion, unfortunately it is a fact we have experienced innumerous times in ministry. Let me share a few examples:

"I saw the pastor's child laying on the front pew sleeping during worship service. He should be setting a better example to the others, his father is one of our pastors."

"Their son got in trouble at school and that is just horrible. His father is a pastor and he should know better."

From my son, "people think I have all the answers and come to me for everything just because dad is a pastor. Mom, I don't have all the answers."

We are assured, as a family, that God has called us into ministry as a family. We do not believe God would have called my husband without having called and equipped the rest of us to be a part of his ministry. What concerns me, and what people overlook sometimes though, is that while God called us, our children must learn to walk with Christ just as any unsaved person, and they must come to "call upon his name so that they too shall be saved". In simpler words, our children while called to ministry with us because of God's plan simultaneously inherited this ministry and were not automatically saved as a result of it. Just as all believers must confess Jesus as saviour, admit he died on the cross and rose again on the 3rd day, so too must a preacher's child.

Please don't expect anything more of a PK than you do of your own children or would of someone else's child. They must walk with God in his timing for their life and not in our timing because of God's calling on our family. Also, remember there was only one perfect being on this earth and his name was Jesus. Just as you and your kids will make mistakes and bad choices, so too will a policeman's child or a pastor's child. Next time you are tempted to judge a "PK", first stop yourself. Next, pray for them, their walk with the Lord and for God to protect them from this unnecessary and hurtful judgement. Give them a hug and thank them for being obedient to God's calling on their family.

I am the woman who has an unlimited love for Christ, her children and your Pastor.

A Word Aptly Spoken

We all speak words. We speak them all day, every day, verbally and in writing. In fact, you are silently hearing the words of my heart now. Have you ever stopped to think about the timing of the words you speak? Are you one of those folks who will think about your words before you speak them or are you one of those folks who has no filters and what comes up must come out?


I tend to think about my words before I speak them unless you touch upon a subject I am sensitive about. I then become the filterless person who says exactly what she is thinking. A friend texted me a verse for encouragement this morning which sparked a fire within me to write this post.

"A word aptly spopken is like apples of gold in settings of silver" Proverbs 25:11

Why in the world would this verse spark a fire within me? As the wife of a Pastor, I see how much prayer time and study time goes into preparing a sermon for Sunday morning worship.

Pastors devote an enormous amount of time to prayer and study on a daily basis to bring honor to God every day of his life, but most importantly, to his congretation when he stands before them.

Our pastor has been on an 8 week sabbatical and the pastoral and preaching responsibilities have been shared equally between my husband, who is the children's pastor, and our youth pastor. The past couple of Sundays have been challenging for my husband. He has arrived at Church on Sunday morning, excited to deliver the message God has put on his heart, only to be challenged by Satan when folks begin to pour out their burdens or angrily share with him their hearts over something that has happend. Please understand these folks are not wrong for wanting to express their opinions, however, are their words aptly spoken when they are spoken before their pastor delivers the message God has given him? No. Are we being self-indulgent to think of oursleves first and taking away from the work of the Holy Spirit when we approach our pastors this way on Sunday mornings? Yes. Can what we want to say wait until after the message has been delivered? Yes.

I would like to encourage you to to think about your heart and attitude the next time you attend church. If you have something you would like to share with your pastor, deny yourself and offer to pray with and for your pastor before he delivers the message.

I am the woman who picks your pastor up when Satan has tried to knock him down.

Welcome to By His Side!

I have had this title in my mind for many years and developed it shortly after my husband was called from his work as a police officer into the ministry. I had always intended or assumed that By His Side would be a book one day. A book where I poured my heart out about ministry, specifically ministry as a pastors wife, but then I realized I didn't have to write a book to share my thoughts, feelings and perspectives with everyone. How much greater would it be if I did a blog page where I journaled all of these things and connected with pastors wives and other people in churches around the world. I am not sure what God has in store for this journey but I am looking forward to taking it and hope you'll enjoy going on it with me.

We were awakened last night around 2:00 am with our dog barking and me, being the brave woman I am, woke my husband up to tell him he should probably get up and check to see why the dog was barking. I quickly heard the door open and my husband talking to someone and assumed it had to be someone he knew. Just because he is no longer in law enforcement does not mean he doesn't still use some of it's practices. I know this because we have had people knock on the door late at night before and he most definitely never opened the door.

Now feeling it was okay to get out of the bed, I got up to see who was at the door and was almost blinded by the flashing police lights in my driveway. Before I could walk out the door to see what was going on my phone rang and it was my neighbor across the road. The flashing police lights in our driveway had awoken her as well and she was worried about us. I stepped out onto the porch while talking to her only to learn our next door neighbor's house was on fire and fireman weren't sure if anyone was home. We live in a rural area so next door means across the cornfield or across the cow pasture....it doesn't mean reaching out of your window and touching your neighbor's house. We talked for a short while and I thanked her for calling to check on us. Unable to offer the sheriff much help, we stood in our driveway and watched the inferno which use to be someone's home as it lit up the night sky.

My heart was burdened when we finally went back inside not knowing if anyone was in the home, and fireman not being able to search in great detail because the house had a basement and it was unsafe for them to walk across the floors. As we settled back into bed and spent some quiet time praying for our neighbors, a funny thought crossed my mind and giggling I asked my husband, "Honey, were you just standing on the front porch in your underwear talking to the Sheriff?" Giggling back he said, "Yes, I think I was."

I am the woman who sees your pastor being real, sometimes really silly!